Dear 47 “Senators” and Those Whom You Teabag:
It has come to our attention, while observing your attempts to hold our nation hostage with your rhetoric of arrogance and ignorance, that you may not fully understand our constitutional system. Thus, we are writing to bring to your attention two features of our Constitution – the executive power invested in the President and the accountability you have to the American electorate. We hope that you will seriously consider these points before you again attempt to inject your infantile rants while the adults are speaking.
First, under our Constitution, Article II, Section 1, “The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America.” Your party’s constant attempts to undermine the President’s authority notwithstanding, he remains the person whom the majority of the voters in this country chose to represent us as the head of our nation’s executive branch. This may be confusing to you, because the gerrymandering that sustains your colleagues in the House along with the disproportionate representation of low-population states in the Senate (something constitutionally designed, ironically, to prevent extremism), has somehow deluded you into thinking your fringe views represent the majority of Americans. They do not. The President is the only person chosen by the majority of American voters, and as such he has the authority to enter into executive agreements with other nations. You may not like that, in part because his diplomatic efforts are likely to impede your ability to someday work as an overpaid K-Street lobbyist for a defense contractor, but that’s how things are.
Secondly, you may want to note that Section 3 of our Constitution indicates that you are elected by the voters of a state, and no longer by a state’s legislators. This means that if you continue to deviate from all manner of logic, decorum, and integrity you will increasingly offend the “average” voters in your home state. You may think that the billionaires who bankroll you can dupe the middle class into voting against their self-interest and supporting you, but that will only work up to a point. If you continue to embarrass our nation on the global stage, the democratic process will do its duty and you will not remain in office. Your terms will be measured in years, perhaps months if you continue to behave in an impeachable manner.
What these two constitutional points mean is that, if you continue to purvey weapons-grade stupidity, you will only weaken your ability to have a say in the governance of our great nation. More importantly, and pay close attention to this one, you are also undermining our national security. We understand that your political statecraft has so far been limited to puerile tantrums pitched before sympathetically ignorant audiences, but should you be willing to listen more than you speak you might have the opportunity to learn about actual statesmanship. We are not naïve enough to blindly trust terrorist regimes (even the ones you seem to like because of their willingness to provide you with oil), but as adults we understand that the formalities and obligations of diplomacy are essential to the equitable and effective conduct of international relations.
All of this may be difficult for you to comprehend. You are interested in vituperative grandstanding for the purpose of single-minded political gain. On the other hand, we are doing our best to act with the values that make our country great: character, integrity, loyalty, and duty. If you decide to grow up and act like Americans, maybe you’ll begin to understand.
The United States Electorate